Well, here I am ... ran 18 miles this past Monday! Many people are saying "great job, keep it up, you've got this" etc. I sooooooo wish I could share their enthusiasm for my craptastic run that morning! This Summer has been the death of my running enjoyment. The heat and humidity have set my state of mind into a very negative place about being able to complete the training and get to the starting line for the Marine Corps Marathon!!
So I have some serious thinking to do. Why do I WANT to run this marathon ? Unfortunately, the marathon was not my personal goal in life, but my running buddy's. I knew I would train with her anyway, so why not run the marathon too? Probably not the right reason for embarking on this journey, and now my mind is more about not wanting to let her down. I need to find reasons that this marathon is for ME and that I only have something to prove to ME! Selfish....yep. In running, I only have to prove something to myself, no one else!
After 18 miles, my knees and hip were not happy, to say the least. After 2 days of complete rest, my knees still hurt and after only a short 1 mile run yesterday, they're aggravated yet again!
Running is mental, and right now, I'm not in the right place with this race. So, hopefully this weekend will let me find my happy place again. Weather is showing signs of cooling off, it's a step back week in training, and I have a 1 mile race to run with my boys. I need to find the love of running again in order to finish what I've started!!
I mean, I ran 18....only 8.2 more to go ?? I won't go there today.....I'll just pray for recovery for my knees and that they'll forgive me and let me keep going :)
This blog is my personal running journey! I began running on my own, and now I find myself surrounded by awesome women, mothers, friends, and family! I felt the need to put it in a blog for me to reflect on why I run, and so I can continue to inspire more people to run with me :)
Don't give up now Jenni! Cooler weather is just a few days away!!!
ReplyDeleteYou are already an awesome runner. Try to remember to have fun. This is your first marathon. If you wanna race, then race half-marathons and perhaps use the marathon has just an extremely long training run rather than racing it. After you finish the your first marathon then mentally decide if you wanna do it again and if you don't then you will have the pleasure that you did one. Wishing all the best and positive energy.
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